Munich

Monday Day 1.

October 16, 2023.

The day always starts with choosing which shoes to wear.

We’re off to Panama.  We want to see the old Spanish settlements & forts, the canal & locks, sandy beaches & tropical surroundings. The problem is the flights to Houston keep filling up. Non rev’s ahead of us keep getting bumped to the next flight and then the next flight, and so on.  We knew this could happen but we’ve had good luck in the past. Today, however, our luck has run out and we can’t get to Houston. Scratch Panama. Our backup plan is the 8:20 p.m. 10 hour non stop to Munich. Planning ahead, just in case, we both packed a light jacket and I packed an extra pair of long pants.  I’m not sure what else Alicia brought.

Economy class sucks, and the food is awful. Unfortunately my Lear jet is still in the shop.

The Bavarian countryside reminds me of Missouri. Flat, green, dense deciduous woods. I was expecting to be at the base of the Alps for some reason. 

Our travel advisor, Amelia, recommended we stay in “Old Town” and emailed us mass transit info to get there. It worked perfectly. Our hotel is about one mile from Old Town and three blocks from the main train station, Hopfenstraße.

Dinner was at the enormous Augistiner  “Keller”, which means (beer) cellar. This place seats 5,000 outdoors in the gardens, 2,000 in the main hall on the ground level, and another 1,000 in the cellars where we were seated.  There was live music by a traditional group of men wearing lederhosen. Luckily they took very long breaks.

Uncharastically, I order a pork “hock”.  I think it’s the ankle. It was delicious and more than I could eat.  Better yet was the beer.  Why can’t I get beer like this in America?

Tuesday Day 2.

We wandered around old town Munich and looked at massive churches, cheese shops, and high end luxury stores. I wonder why would anyone pay 550 Euro for a sweater or 70 Euro for a $4 beanie cap? 

The Residenz Museum building, while huge and majestic, shows obvious signs of wear and tear. Plus you only get to see a few rooms. The paintings are mostly dark and the lighting could be improoved. That being said, it is worth seeing, and there is still lot’s of incredible art and things to look at.

Lunch was at Killian’s Irish pub for fish & chips and a Guinness. 

Dinner at the Augistiner Keller last night was so good that we went back. We met some elevator engineers from Brazil attending a conference. One of them, Caesar, ordered beers for us before we even sat down. I should explain that dining is usually “communal” in Munich. Caesar is a bit gregarious, full of life, and even invited us for a a beer if we ever find ourselves in Southern Brazil, which we might. We learned that illegal immigration from Senegal and Haiti is a problem in Brazil. Conversations frequently turn political here.

Wednesday Day 3.

Today we traveled out to the Neuhausen-Nymphenburg palace. This one is advertised as “similar to Versailles.” It’s not. The palace is beyond huge, like Versailles, but the similarities end there. Admission allows you to see only about 7 of the hundreds of rooms plus the carriage house.

I did enjoy some of the displays. Photos don’t do them justice.

King Albrecht commissioned paintings of ordinary (peasant) yet beautiful women. 48 portraits hang in one room. Who doesn’t like looking at paintings of hot women.

Unlike Versailles it’s all PG rated. The male statues even have tiny penises so as not to offend. The carriage house features sleighs and horse drawn carriages that are simply ridiculousness with gold plating.  

We wandered through the lovely back gardens where I decided to try a fallen chestnut. It’s taste was shockingly offensive.  It turns out these are “Horse Chestnuts” and are poisonous! Luckily, I survived.

Dinner was at the world famous Hofbräuhaus. This is a must for any proper tourist. Alicia observed that about 80% of the crowd appeared to be tourists. She broke the ice with a stoic gentleman at our table, working on his 3rd liter of beer, and asked him how many of these people are locals? He made a show of looking around and said three. We all laughed. He wanted to talk politics and immigration.

Thursday Day 4.

The Neuschwanstein castle was the model for Disney’s Cinderella, or Sleeping Beauty, or Snow White, or who knows. All of them probably have elements of the castle. It’s that extraordinary! Too bad the guided tour only shows you a handful of rooms.  The fun part is getting there.  It took us about two hours each way.

We rented a Seat, Aruna. This might be my favorite car ever. It’s built in Spain and I have never heard of this brand before. It sounds like a diesel and is one of the most comfortable and fastest cars I have ever driven.  The only fault I could find is that the gearshift has a long throw so you can’t really push it hard through the gears. We took the long route through the country side and enjoyed every minute. 

The greenery and fall colors were a welcome sight for someone who lives in a desert. The roads, and I mean all of the roads, are pristine. Not a pothole, or a crack, or a patch even. They are perfect. I have spent some time pondering how they keep them like this. I’m baffled. 

Parking is about a 45 minute walk below the castle.  You can get a ride on a horse drawn wagon for about 5 Euro or take a bus most of the way.  

I acknowledge that I know almost nothing about equestrian matters but I was really worried about the horses. Yes, they are quite large draft horses but there is no way two of them can pull a dozen or so tourists plus the wagon up this hill!   I had a good chuckle when I realized that the wagons had rear differentials. These are horse/electric hybrid vehicles. 

I have to mention the Alps. I live in Colorado and am accustomed to majestic mountains, but the Alps must be seen to be believed.

Ausfahrt means exit. For some reason Alicia finds this photo hilarious?

Friday Day 5

Today was to be our last day in Munich but things went sideways. We were headed for the Alte Pinakothek Art Museum and then the English Gardens.

No longer are there paper maps showing routes and schedules for busses and trams, or ticket booths for information.  Therefore, one must rely on Satanic devices with Google Maps, Satan’s digital incarnate, for navigation. It simply wasn’t working.  We went in circles for hours. Harsh words were spoken. We have got to figure this out. Alicia’s mad at me for being so stupid (not her actual words).  Her feet hurt. It’s no wonder. We’re walking on uneven cobblestone and she’s wearing these stupid shoes with no support that belong on a beach in Panama. Like I said: The day always starts with choosing which shoes to wear. This is all her fault.

We finally walked but it took us, in total, about 3 hours to get to the museum and it endangered 33 years of matrimonial bliss. It turns out that the road there is closed for construction. Good to know. Someone tell google.

In the very first gallery was a wonderful Van Gogh from his potato eaters period followed by a Renoir and three more Van Gogh’s. The rest of the museum was well lit, nicely organized, and truly a great place to spend a couple of hours. More photos below.

There is simply not enough time to take in the English Gardens today so we had a pleasant late afternoon eating the best french fries ever and drinking beer in a sidewalk cafe while sharing our experiences with a fellow bumbling traveler from Chicago.  He inspired us to stay another day just to bumble around and enjoy the city a little bit more. Walking the earth together.

Saturday Day 6.

We headed for English Gardens before breakfast so as to enjoy the best part of the day before it clouds up. Around noon (we had some more issues with the commute) we had lunch at a tennis club. This is where I learned that women’s locker rooms are not nearly as nice as the men’s locker rooms. They could do with better signage.  The gardens are famous for having nude sunbathers, we saw none of the female variety.

The South end of the gardens features a large biergarten with a children’s playground and unusual foods like fish popsicles and plenty of good beer.  Good people watching.

We rested up at the hotel before heading back to Old Town for dinner and a late night at a bar. Commute issues crop up again due to construction. We eventually take a bus that gets us close and then walk in the rain to the restaurant to share a communal meal with a delightful couple from Texas. We are meeting way more Americans than Germans, but that’s what you get for doing touristy stuff in a tourist town. Transportation chews up a lot of our time, and our money. Daily passes are about 18 Euro.

For our final hurrah we head to a piano bar called Pussers. Pussers, as in “purser’s” on a ship that dispense daily shots of rum to English sailors with a lime wedge to stave off scurvy. My rum drink featured a fancy lime twist in a glass of ginger ale.  It cost 16 Euro! ARG! I couldn’t help but notice all the attractive young women sitting with generally older and far less attractive men.  The piano is downstairs. We were not.  A number of parties were turned away, one for being not “decent”.  A very selective place. We were lucky to stand in the corner by the dish room. Some of the selectivity may be based on ethnicity.  I don’t know that.

Sunday Day 7.

Were headed home on the 4:20 p.m. non stop. We leave the hotel around 10 because we know.  Besides, if all goes well we will have time for the renowned beer garden at the airport.

We plan to take the S8 (train) because the S1 stops along the way and decouples with part of the train going somewhere else. Don’t want to get caught up in that! The problem is that we can’t find out which platform the S8 leaves from. We see the rare ticket booth and ask “what platform does the S8 leave from”? She tells me that the S8 doesn’t come to this station. Google says it does plus we see signs that point to the S8? What the… After a lot of walking and swearing we give up.  We spent about 30 minutes playing this game of hide and seek. So were off to catch the S1, hoping that it doesn’t split along the way, on platform 27 but the boards now say platform 23, so now were off to platform 23. We mull around a bit because what the boards say and what the train says don’t match. A train pulled up to platform 26 that says “Airport”  and a lot of people with luggage get on it.  Throwing caution to the wind we get on as well. The German reputation for excellence is being strained. But we made it to the airport with time for a beer at the renowned garden between the terminals. Or so we thought. We got tired of waiting for a waiter and started to leave finding out along the way that we were sitting at a the wrong table.  Screw you. You could have told us this 20 minutes ago.  Table service in Germany is good only when compared to Paris. I’m starting to believe in tipping model of compensation based on the quality of the service. 

Cops at the airport patrol in two’s – a male and a female. They’re in full military garb with flack jackets, a Glock on their hip, ammo belts, big sticks, mace, and a snub nose machine gun slung over their shoulder. I found out later they are full alert for an impending terrorist attack motivated by what’s happening in Gaza.

Going through security an agent, with a stern look, tells us our boarding passes have already been used today.  The problem went away when we got around to telling him that we’re non revs. He instantly understood.

Flying out it looks just like Ireland. It’s that green. It was an unusual trip for us. We only did touristy stuff and didn’t get off the beaten path even once. Looking back at what I’ve written and also looking at the photos I think I was a little harsh about some of the landmarks. We saw some incredible art.

Random observations: 

• There is no sign of wokeness anywhere.  
• We spent $800 on food in 1 week. (I gained 5 lbs) There are still many things I didn’t get to try.
• Church bells ring randomly on and off through out the day.
• Hogan’s heroes is on TV.
• Not much graffiti.
• A smattering of homeless exist but nothing like in the U.S.
• If fashion trends start in Europe and move West flare pants, Fergie bows, and disco are all making a comeback.
• I saw a bumper sticker on a commercial truck that said “This truck does not travel to the UK”. I’m guessing it’s about Brexit. It is the only bumper sticker I saw.
• The roads are in great condition. Like new! All of them.
• Restaurants and bar patrons, not including tourists, are about 80% men. Is there a social custom I’m not aware of? Are the women dining & drinking somewhere else? Home knitting mittens? Barefoot and pregnant?
• Transportation costs are high. 
• For a country that claims to be worried about CO2 they sure don’t act like it. High performance luxury cars abound.  Hot water in the hotel was very hot and no had flow restrictors.  Maybe they’re using “clean” French nuclear powered electricity.
• The pretzels are delicious. 
• Nowhere to sit. Airports, train stations, bus stops, museums, etc… A few bakeries have limited seating. The communal seating at restaurants is on a hard wooden benches along picnic tables. 
• Lots of dogs are off leash and behave very well. No barking even. 
• Dress is quite casual.

PS: Our travel advisor , Amelia, read the draft of this story and responded: How was the transit system that difficult for you guys? It was one of the most well thought, organized, and simple systems I’ve ever been to. What are you: Stupid? (not her actual words)

Below are some random photos mostly of awesome art (zoom in). Enjoy.

Below are a bunch of random photos